Uncertainty
by ForsakenProdigy
Summary: Anise is finally becoming the first female Fon Master at the age of twenty-one. A wonderful gala takes place to commemorate her inauguration, and a certain old friend attends, only for them to notice their relationship change. Post-game Jade and Anise. This is my first fan fiction, so enjoy. Rated T for alcohol use, suggestive humor and situations, and minor language.
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Tales of the Abyss or its characters. This is completely non-profit. But please feel free to send me money for any other reason. :)**

 **A/N: I know this is a little late for this fandom, but I wrote this a few years ago, and I have decided to post it now instead of deleting it altogether. There's not enough with this pairing, anyway.**

 **~F.P.**

 _It's almost here! Just one more day_! Anise thought merrily to herself. She was finally going to become the first female Fon Master. It had been so long since her last adventure with her friends. She hadn't seen them, in fact, since Luke and Tear's wedding ceremony in Baticul four years ago, and even then, Natalia had been away with King Ingobert in Grand Chokmah and the Colonel hadn't been able to stay long; they had talked together for the majority of the time he spent there. Even though they hadn't spoken with each other for years, it was like they had never stopped talking at all. Of course, she had stayed in contact with all of her friends via letter, but that was HARDLY comparable to being able to force them into awkward hugs or linking arms with them while singing extremely loudly and off-key and skipping across Auldrant like before. No matter how many i's she dotted with little hearts, Anise knew they couldn't appreciate her cuteness from afar. Ultimately, she hadn't kept regular contact, letter or otherwise, except with the Colonel, because everyone (including herself) had been so busy. He was perhaps busier than anyone, but he always responded punctually and with a pinch of teasing, so she didn't worry about bothering him. HE could appreciate her cuteness!

Her heart sank when it dawned on her that she wasn't really cute like before.

Anise has turned twenty-one a few months ago and was by all accounts a grown woman. She could no longer pull off two large pigtails, so instead she opted to leave her messy dark curls down, with various braids. She had hit a growth spurt shortly after the party disbanded and had grown a good six inches in height, lost all of her baby fat, and grown to be as voluptuous as Tear. However, Anise feared she put too much time and effort in her career, making her become an old maid.

 _If only I'd snagged Luke or some other rich and cute nobleman when I'd had the chance_ , she thought, silently cursing herself. But her demeanor softened when she remembered her old friends would be visiting to attend the feast in Daath to commemorate her inauguration as Fon Master tomorrow.

She had sent them all invitations a week ago, so she knew they had received them by now. They'd sent no respnse - even though the invitations said RSVP pretty clearly - but she assumed the mail boat just hadn't gotten back to Daath yet. Letter exchanges had always taken a few days.

A knock on her chamber door startled her. A gruff voice announced, "Mail for Fon Master Anise,"

Giddily, she hopped to her feet from her lounging position and hurried to her door, flung it open, snatching the letters and chirping, "Thank youuu~!" with a giggle.

Only two, she noted with a scowl. One from Grand Chokmah and one from Baticul, dated two to three days ago. Well, at least she could see the Colonel was coming - as she believed he would be the only one in Grand Chokmah. Guy had briefly lived there to help Peony with his rappigs, but he moved back to Baticul to be with Natalia since their engagement. _Another opportunity lost_ , Anise thought bitterly.

She decided to save the best for last, so she started with the letter from Baticul, written in fancy, looping script:

 _Dear Anise,_

 _I am very sorry to inform you we will not be able to attend. Tear is having complications with her pregnancy, so Luke refuses to leave her side, and I think it's only appropriate for her to have a woman by her side that she trusts in times like this. Guy simply wants to ensure I don't overwork myself._

 _We were all very pleased to hear from you. You will have to write to tell us how it went, and we will all visit as soon as we can. I'm sorry to get your hopes up that we could attend, but it seemed better to tell you why would be absent rather than say nothing at all._

 _Kimlasca will be sending an emissary on my behalf._

 _Regards,_

 _Natalia_

Anise frowned and tossed the letter aside. No one had even told her Tear was pregnant. She couldn't help but worry, but she was sure in Baticul Tear had the best treatment available. Anise pouted at the prospect of her big day being ruined with worry, but decided to tear open the letter from the Colonel.

After they had been exchanging letters for a while, he has taken up studying graphology (because she made an offhand remark about handwriting not saying anything about character) and had made a game out of mimicking her penmanship - his own beautiful, formal handwriting replaced with her giant, girly letters. He even used pink ink.

 _Fon Master Tatlin:_

 _My, my, Anise, color me surprised. I hadn't believed you would have the attention span to work so hard for something that initially seemed so out of reach. Either way, I am pleased for the invitation, even though the emperor and I would definitely be coming sooner or later to see you with or without it. You see, it only makes sense for Malkuth to have a head start in getting on the good side of the new Fon Master, no?_

 _It would also be nice to see you again, I suppose... There's a certain wrongness in never turning to see you've been following me or a "Yeah!" echoing what I say._

 _Col. Jade Curtiss_

Anise grinned, despite herself. That was almost sweet, coming from the Colonel. She momentarily hugged the letter to her chest without losing her stupid grin, then tossed both aside to see how preparations for the feast were going.

 **A/N: Will update soon. Please inform me of any errors.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: This is the first story I've ever posted, so it means a lot to me that anyone is reading it...**

 **~F.P.**

Jade honestly wasn't incredibly fond of the prospect of a giant gala amongst the pious Daathic citizens in the embellished cathedral. Any political matters could be resolved without him, he was sure, and there were plenty of soldiers capable of serving as guards to the emperor.

Nonetheless, Jade was looking forward to attending, and he surmised it had something to do with the new Fon Master. He was initially pleased at the resolution of the previous adventure and a chance to study in peace, but Jade was - at heart - a soldier, and that would never change. He longed for the rush of battle, and - on a side note - for the company of who was - in his opinion - his most entertaining friend. It had been far too long since he had had the opportunity to tease her and see her pouty expression, crying, "Boooo, Colonel!" He hadn't seen her in years now, not since she was seventeen and technically still a child. She was over twenty now - the age of adulthood, though he imagined some things never changed, and he was certain he wouldn't enter the cathedral to see a mature and poised woman with the bearing of a queen.

As for himself, Jade had changed very little. Perhaps his sandy brown hair had grown a little longer and his shoulders a bit broader from all of his exercise, but though he was now in his early forties, he looked much the same as before - barely a day over thirty, and nearly identical to when Anise last saw him.

Jade and the emperor were to take the Albiore to Daath in the morning, and he decided he had wasted enough time being sentimental for one day and headed for his office to review some documents.

Upon opening the door, a familiar voice called out, "Jade, I was waiting for you." Peony sat at Jade's desk with his legs propped atop it and a letter in his hands, papers scattered haphazardly about as rappigs scurried across the room

Jade sighed. "Your Majesty, _what_ are you doing in my office?" he asked, greeting the emperor with a kind of familiarity and exasperation reserved for old friends.

"Going through your mail, of course."

 _Of course,_ Jade amended with silent sarcasm. "Is there a reason, or is this just a strange new hobby?"

"Well, you're always getting letters from that Anise these days. As your friend, it's my duty to pry into your personal life. I was curious about what was going on with you two."

"Naturally," said Jade, his tone somewhere between mild irritation and amusement as he eyed a rappig that appeared to be eating a sheet of paper. "I trust your curiosity has been sated?"

"Not quite," Peony replied, rising to his feet.

"Oh? I thought it to be fairly straightforward, unless I missed some critical innuendo in our exchanges."

"Humor me. What is she to you? A daughter, a friend, a sister, a lover...?"

Jade offered an exaggerated shrug, "To be honest, I'm not certain myself."

"How anticlimactic." Peony grabbed a rappig and called out to the others, leading them from the office to the halls of the Malkuth military base.

Jade closed the door behind the emperor and took a seat, leaning far back in his chair. He removed and folded his glasses to massage his temple with his index and forefinger. With a heavy sigh, he decided to review the documents as he originally intended, but he did so newly pensive.

 **A/N: They actually meet in the next chapter, I promise.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: If you've read this far, I officially love you. I'd really appreciate some more reviews (the first one is what kept me posting this), specifically on the second and third chapters. I'm concerned Jade is OOC.**

 **~F.P.**

Daath Bay had been particularly busy of late. Various ships had already docked there, their passengers on their way to the cathedral for the celebration. Anise did not want to call attention to herself just yet, so she waited at the side of one of the warehouses where she was not immediately visible to the port. She only waited there to greet Jade whenever he might arrive, perhaps surprise him, as she worried she might not be able to once the festivities commenced.

She had been waiting for hours - since morning, in fact - and had exhausted her supply of rations for the wait: a lunchbox with six cookies topped in granulated sugar, chocolate milk (which had unfortunately spoiled), and a candied apple for health. The sun had risen to its highest point by now, and Anise's hiding spot exposed her to its brightness

Sweaty and miserable was NOT how she had wanted to be reunited with the Colonel.

Finally, Anise spied a familiar ship docking - the Albiore! That must be the one Jade and the emperor had boarded. She grinned.

Emperor Peony IX stepped from the ship, surrounded by his guards. The Colonel, however, was nowhere in sight. Regardless, Anise sang "Emperor~!" and performed her most ladylike curtsy.

"Oh, of it isn't the new Fon Master! Congratulations." he said. "You're looking beautiful these days."

Anise blushed. "Oh, thank you so much!" She clasped her hands together and batted her eyelashes. "Sooo...Emperor, are you still looking for a wife?" _One last chance,_ Anise thought.

Peony barked out a laugh, but ultimately ignored the question. "I'm sure Jade would love to see you. He's still onboard. Go find him, if you want. I'll be sure to speak with you later, but I'd like to settle in first." He motioned for his guards. "Come on, guys."

Anise waved sweetly, but a grimace crept across her lips as soon as he was out of view. _Damn_ , she thought, _so close to marrying rich_. She sighed heavily, believing her chances for such things were very limited these days. Her mind wondered more to Jade.

Regardless, Anise regained her composure and hurried onboard the Albiore, feeling quite nostalgic as she heard the familiar clacking of her sandals against the floors and saw the familiar layout. It had become almost like a second home to her for a few months. _Sometimes, I really miss traveling with my friends..._

She could see the Colonel's back was to her as he stared out a window, a small flask in his hand. He took a sip before turning to greet her, delicately closing the lid and placing it in his pocket.

"Oh? Who might you be? Can I help you in some way?" The Colonel straightened his glasses, his expression deadly serious.

"Colonel, booo! Don't pretend you don't recognize me!"

He tilted his head inquisitively. "Forgive me if I've forgotten you from somewhere. You do look vaguely familiar, I suppose."

"Stop, dammit! This isn't funny!

"It's nice to see you again, Anise."

Anise's angry, pouty face softened into a smile. She leapt into him, wrapping her arms tightly around him in an awkward hug; Jade's arms hung stiffly at his sides, as if unsure what to do with them. When the embrace lingered, he slowly locked one of his arms around her, deciding it would seem less conspicuous to her than doing nothing. "I'm so happy to see you again, Colonel..." Anise muttered, her face still buried in his chest.

"Oh, really? Why?"

Anise finally let go of him, turning serious. "I don't know..." A brief, blushing pause. That was true, really. She had missed her friend, of course, but she didn't understand the tightness in her chest she experienced upon seeing him, the weakness in her knees, her own stupid giddiness. "Well, come on."

"A moment, please," Jade said, reaching into his other pocket. He retrieved something small, wrapped in a cloth. "I actually have something to give you."

"Is it a ring!?" Anise demanded. "Colonel, I accept!"

Jade continued to hold his the package towards her.

Anise took it after a moment's pause, hurriedly tugged at the cloth. "A Capacity Core?"

"Oh, I figured since you now have access to powerful, Daathic fonic artes, why not use them to their full potential? It might be interesting to document." The Colonel smiled sweetly, feigning obliviousness.

"That's not very romantic, Colonel." Anise eyed the Capacity Core. It wasn't even a particularly decorative one - but it was well-made and most likely powerful, knowing the Colonel. She clipped it onto her white Fon Master vestment.

"My apologies. Would you like my arm as we walk?"

"Of course!" she cried, practically jumping at him, linking her arm with his.

"Anise, I was joking."

"Well, too bad."

Jade feigned an exasperated sigh, but allowed her to pull him forward with no difficulty, amused.

 **A/N: As always, expect a new chapter within a week. (Also, if you notice errors, tell me. I'm typing this on my Kindle, and it hates me.)**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Romance should never be the entire plot of anything, though it can enhance the plot. That is a wonderful piece of advice I religiously adhere to when writing critiques and have completely disregarded here. I am what you might call a "hypocrite." Sorry about that, guys.**

 **~F.P.**

Jade didn't quite consider himself a recluse. An introvert, perhaps, who felt the need to occasionally retire from society for a bit, but he could function well enough in social situations, particularly after a little brandy - though it seemed inappropriate in such a pious place. Something about the whole event made him feel out of place.

Though he felt no disdain for the Order of Lorelei, he had never been a follower; as a rule, his attitude to religion in general was indifference. While Lorelei existed, he felt no real obligation to revere her, and he hadn't had a reading since he was a child. He supposed readings had lost relevance by this point, however. Others could cling to the Order all they pleased - and oh! how they did! - and he would cling to his science just the same.

He and Anise had socialized and laughed, but she had had other responsibilities to attend to. Shortly after she had left him, Jade realized she was ultimately his only incentive for remaining. She could make him do such silly things - like attending a crowded, noisy gala in the saintly Daathic cathedral to celebrate the inauguration of a boisterous little girl.

 _Young woman_ , he quickly amended.

After finishing his plate, Jade rose, pushed his chair in and excused himself from the cathedral. He knew he couldn't go very far with Peony still inside, taking advantage of the ceremonial wine. Outside, the crescent moon and stars shined dimly, making his journey to the stone bench in the garden area somewhat difficult.

He could still hear chatter and faint music from inside, but he was completely alone. It was blissfully clear out and pleasantly cool - perfect reading weather. Sitting comfortably back, he drew his flask and took a small sip. Almost as if on cue, he heard footsteps hurriedly pattering towards him.

"Colonel, did you really ditch my party to get drunk in the garden outside a church?" Anise demanded, arms akimbo. She wore her signature angry pout.

"Heavens, no. Tipsy, maybe, at worst." He closed the cap and watched her, smirking curiously. There was a silence, but he had no words with which to fill it.

Anise claimed a seat on the bench to his right after a moment passed. "Was the party that bad?"

"Between the flamboyantly-costumed operatic performances of religious hymns and gaudy jewel-encrusted goblets, it was a bit lavish for my tastes. I suppose I didn't have an awful time, though."

"Well, I'm glad." Her smile was forced, at best.

"Oh? My approval has never been relevant to your planning before." Jade adjusted his glasses, a wry smile on his lips.

"To be honest, it was a little much for me, too."

With strange, faraway sympathy, Jade offered the flask to her. She was very hesitant and eyed the metal flask suspiciously for a moment before gingerly taking it and pulling it to her lips, taking a tiny sip. Judging from her face - akin to that of someone who just tasted a lemon - it was this Fon Master's first experience with alcohol. She shook her head and shoved the container back into a chuckling Jade's hands, who took a hearty swig before screwing the cap back on.

"Anyway, I had a question..." Anise suddenly began to avert his gaze. He had never seen her like this. Quiet, pensive - almost demure. He was not sure how to respond to it.

Still fiddling with his glasses, Jade said, "My answer is most likely no."

Ignoring him, she asked, "Why have you never had a girlfriend or a wife or...anything?"

"Complications avoiding Dist." he answered without hesitation.

"Just because Dist's in love with you doesn't mean-"

"Stop." Jade stated, his tone flat. "What you just said was incredibly disturbing and will haunt me for many days to come. Please, never say anything like that again. I deeply regret mentioning the name." Jade believed there was a huge difference between "obsessed with" and "in love with."

"Well, you could've found someone who could protect herself. I don't think that was a serious answer." She waved her hand dismissively.

Jade sighed. "Anise, why the sudden desire to delve into my love life?"

"We're friends! Aren't we? Friends talk to each other about these things. I want a real answer."

Why something like this became important to her was unclear to Jade - as was why she was so serious about it. Nonetheless, he supposed there was no real harm in answering it. Taking a long moment to consider the question himself, he replied, "I'm terrible at maintaining personal relationships."

"What do you mean?"

"My childhood friend is now a mortal enemy, I murdered my mentor, and my sister will never completely trust me again." That had come out both grimmer and truer than Jade had intended. Anise stared at him with surprised doe-eyes - as if she had heard something she wasn't supposed to. In an attempt to lighten the mood (and not wanting to clarify any of what he had said), Jade shot back, "What about you?"

Anise fidgeted with her Fon Master vestments. "I...don't think the person I care about feels the same about me."

"This is the first I've heard of anything. Who is he? We could make his night miserable, if that would cheer you up."

Her scowl deepened. "You don't understand."

Jade was practically emotionally-handicapped when it came to his own relationships, so it took him a moment to completely grasp the situation - but as distant as he was, the way she peered into his eyes was clear enough. _Oh_. Instead of explaining why it couldn't work, Jade considered how - of all the people he knew - he and Anise had the most unique relationship. In all honesty, he couldn't envision either of them with anyone else.

Dying alone had never seemed appealing, either...though he rarely thought about it. And the most fun times in his life had been spent in Anise's company.

"I see." Jade pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

"You do?" Anise finally smiled, despite herself. She hugged his arm tightly. "I thought you never would!"

"Anise, I haven't agreed to anything yet."

"Oh, but you will. There's no way you could reject me after I pour my heart out like that!" Still clutching his arm, she offered a girlish giggle.

"You didn't 'pour your hea-'"

"If you split hairs at a time like this, it'll just ruin the moment, Colonel."

From the giant double doors at the entrance of the cathedral, Florian's voice called out, "Anise, a Kimlascan emissary has some questions for you." He didn't seem to notice she was hugging Jade's arm - and if he did, he didn't react in any way. No sooner than he had finished his sentence did he return to the cathedral.

Rising to her feet, she asked, "Will you still be here tomorrow?"

"For four days, actually."

"Good!" Anise exclaimed. "Come have dinner with me and my family tomorrow, then. I won't tell Papa you're my boyfriend yet or anything. Pleeeaaase, Mama's like the best cook ever, and-" She continued to supply Jade with many reasons as to why he should "so" come, but he tuned her out to think.

An informal dinner with a loving family was unfamiliar to Jade. It would be incredibly awkward, but at this point, pretty much everything was. Watching Anise run the gamut of emotions - angry, frustrated, enquiring, sadness, vulnerability, then giddiness - had left him exhausted, so he sighed heavily. "Why not?"

"Yay! You won't regret it, I promise!" Before scurrying back to the cathedral, she lightlt kissed his cheek, blushing wildly. He watched her thoughtfully, but when he was truly alone once again, he laughed aloud to himself about this day - the entire situation - before turning back to his brandy.

 **A/N: Hope you enjoy it, even though even I am painfully aware of how it dragged on. I didn't mean to insult Jade/Dist shippers, so please - take no offense at that. It's just for the purpose of this story. Also, was no one else bothered how Nephry talks to Luke behind Jade's back like that? It seemed cruel to me. He loves his sister, and she acts afraid of him. Not cool, Nephry.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Sorry it took so long for this update. My house flooded. :/**

 **~F.P.**

The smell of roasted rappig wafted pleasantly through the suite. Anise wondered if a homecooked meal would suit the Colonel's sophisticated palette, but her chance to worry was cut short by a knock on the door. Punctual as ever.

Anise swung the door open with a broad smile so abruptly, it appeared to surprise Jade. At the very least, he took a quick step back, arm at his side as if to draw his lance from it. Anise mentally kicked herself for making it so obvious she had been standing at the door, waiting for him.

"Anise," he said - almost warmly with an amicable expression.

"I'm so glad you came, Colonel!" Anise sang, wrapping him in one of her signature awkward, forced hugs. Less hesitantly than their previous embrace, he locked an arm around her torso. To her surprise, he also whispered something she didn't quite make out in her ear softly, but no sooner than he had said it, he had let go of her and pulled away, taking a few steps towards the dining room.

"Aren't you coming?" he asked, unashamedly and composedly. He smiled innocently at Anise, who stood blushing, shoulders still tense from the earlier shock of his breath in her ear.

Anise followed, grinning after piecing her composure back together. It seemed a bit ironic that after she became Fon Master, meaning she would always be taken care of by the Order, she finally snagged a rich boyfriend. _Better late than never_ , Anise thought, because even her title of Fon Master couldn't pay for all of her parents' debts. _Not good to mention on a first date_ , she told herself.

"Oh, Colonel Curtiss!" Anise's father called out. "Welcome, glad you could make it."

"Yes, thank you," Jade responded with a humble nod.

"Colonel Curtiss, Anise has told us so much about you!" Pamela said, smiling warmly.

"Oh, really?" he mused, glancing back at Anise. The glare on his glasses masked amusement and curiosity.

Anise shot her mother the death glare but otherwise remained silent - as most of the dinner was. Occasionally, one of Anise's parents would try to stir up conversation by bragging about her or asking the Colonel about his work - to which he would respond politely but concisely, not leaving much room for discussion.

Under the table, the Colonel grasped Anise's hand, though when she glanced over at him, his eyes were as dead and expressionless as ever, fixated on his plate. Just as quickly, however, he released his grip and rose to his feet, neatly pushing his chair in.

"Thank you for having me. The dinner was lovely. It is getting rather late, so I will be on my way." he said with evenly.

"Oh. Well, then...I guess I'll go, too." said Anise. Her parents offered polite goodbyes, as well as leftovers (which were declined). Outside the small apartment, she smiled at Jade. "Colonel, be a gentleman and walk me to my room, okay~? I'm just a frail young woman, so you'll have to protect me."

"Anise, you are the Fon Master in the Daathic cathedral. I quite honestly can't imagine a safer setting."

"What about the Fon Master in the Daathic cathedral with the Colonel escorting her?"

After a brief moment's consideration, Jade nodded. "Fair enough." He smiled at her, and they decided to talk and walk at the same time. "I would have offered, anyway. But isn't your room just down the hall?"

Anise shook her head. "No, not anymore. I stay in the Fon Master's chambers now. Er, Ion's old room." For a moment, she frowned and her eyes adopted a faraway, glazed look about them, but she shook her head vigorously, and the expression went away. She didn't want her new boyfriend to see her moping about her old crush, though it would be a lie to say she didn't miss him sometimes.

"I don't know if I ever apologized for your loss." Jade stated, not meeting her gaze.

Anise forced a smile. "It's okay. I have you now, Colonel!"

Jade turned to her. "Yes...but you can never truly replace someone you have lost, be it with a replica or a different person. It won't be the same. When a person you were close to dies..." Jade removed his glasses and began to clean them. He self-admittedly didn't quite understand what death meant, despite being successful in a career path that demanded he surround himself with it, but he finished his statement with the only maxim on death he knew for certain and had personally observed to be true: "...nothing can ever bring them back."

Anise nodded. Originally, she considered Florian might serve as some kind replacement, but him and Ion were far from the same person. And even if he had been a carbon copy of Ion, he didn't share the memories her and Ion had. She imagined her and Jade had learned the same lesson. In her peripherals, she could see Jade was eyeing her curiously. He wanted to express sympathy, but he was not entirely certain how.

Instead, risking appearing insensitive, he opted to change the subject. "Could I request you address me by my name instead of my title?"

"Huh? You don't like being called Colonel?"

"I don't mind it. But it seems strange to be addressed so formally by a paramour."

With a shrug, she said, "I guess," before skidding to a halt at the end of the hall in front of her door. _"Jade._.." she said the name awkwardly and unpleasantly, as if she struggled to roll it off her tongue, "do you want to come in?"

"Only if you promise to still respect me in the morning."

Anise stomped her foot. "Not like that! Don't be a pervert! I just wanted to talk to you!"

Jade only smiled.

 **A/N: The next chapter is not a bedroom scene. Don't be dismayed!**


End file.
